Dearest Baby Juliet,
10 months seems awfully close to a year, doesn't it! A year? Have you really been with us almost that long? I can't believe it. On one hand, I can hardly remember our life before you got here. On the other hand, that newborn period seems so far away. It's hard to remember you then, small and helpless, staying exactly where you were placed, having trouble focusing your eyes, blinking blearily. My largest memory of that time is cuddling with you, the hours on the couch with you in my arms. Then I couldn't have imagined all that you are doing now!
You crawl! You pull to standing! You point! You play peek-a-boo!
You are amazing, a person developing before our eyes. If we developed as much as you do in a year, we'd be wonderpeople by now.
It's fun to see you encounter new things. You test them over and over. I went with you and Daddy to his cleaning job and you had your first encounter with stairs. You put one knee up and tried rocking back and forth, finding your balance. You didn't manage the other knee, but I could see you thinking, "how do I get over these?" You've found funny things to do at your grandparents' houses too. At my parents' house, you're showing nearly as much interest in tennis balls as Jake. (No, that's impossible.) And you impress gMom by picking them up with one hand! At Daddy's parents' house, you repeat a funny pattern: you go to the shelf under the television and try to pull out the big heavy books on the bottom shelf, then pull yourself to standing and point to the silver sparkly letters of the Band of Brothers DVD collection on the shelf above it. You will do this over and over again. It is fun to predict it (And next, she'll point at the letters....) and then watch you do it. I love that these things entertain you so much. It is fun to see your mind work via your actions and wonder how the world looks to you.
My favorite thing is seeing you when I get off from work. At the end of the day, once I've packed up all my things, I'm greeted with the most exuberant reaction. Sometimes Daddy takes you out of your seat and you both sit in the front seat to wait for me. When I come out, you often start bouncing vigorously. It's like your joy is going to blast out of you. I can usually see your mouth opening wide and closing. Your big smile. You shout, long and loud, as I walk closer. When I open the door, I can hear it, happily greeting me. I love it so much.
There is another thing you do that I think is precious. It's only every here and there and I don't know if I've mentioned it before. When I nurse you in cradle position, sometimes you will take your fist that is below my armpit and clench and unclench handfuls of shirt. I remember you starting that when you were very little, probably about 3 months, and how it just seemed like a sweet little hug. Every now and then, you still do it. It seems very distinctly you. But maybe all babies do it? I have no comparison. =)
We've spent a lot of time at the pool, and you're still enjoying it. You're no longer content to sit on a blanket like you were last month, but you're still a pretty content baby. We just have to watch you really closely because you want to eat everything.
Speaking of which, the other day at our apartment, I was playing with you on the bed and I noticed you munching. Then, slowly, you pushed something out of your mouth. At first it was just something white and you pulled it back in. Then, pushing it out, it proved to be letters - an "m," an "e." Out it came in one more thrust - the word "mean!" Somehow you must have picked up one of the fridge magnets and put it in your mouth. It was kind of hysterical if you don't think about choking hazards and supervision issues. Where did that come from?
You do not want to be held much anymore; You want to get down! You will push your body away with your arms or arch your back trying to get down. This seems to happen especially at church and at our grandparents' houses. Maybe there is too much to explore and too little time at those places.
Physically, you've started communicating more. You point at things that catch your attention. When you want to get picked up, you kind of hold your arms up. You're not exactly reaching out to be picked up, but more like raising your arms so I have better access to your torso. You pull cloths over your head and move them away slowly to play peek-a-boo. You wave your whole arms to say bye-bye. You tense up your body and shake when you want something we have (you love to eat, especially watermelon, and if you run out before we do, you let us know). Even though Daddy might disagree, it seems like you make the sign for milk a lot. You open and close your fist right up next to your nose. I imagine that when I make the sign while you're nursing, it looks like it's supposed to be there, right in front of your face. (You can do it down near your body too, but the way you do it now is pretty cute.) However, it seems like you make it when you want to be rescued from where you currently are, like in your carseat or when you are overly tired and I'm trying to change or dress you. I'm not sure it means "milk" as much as "come and get me - I don't want to be here." And that's fine too.
You are really coming in to your own this month. It is great to see you making such progress. I love being a parent. I still don't always feel like one, but it is great when I reflect on it. I can't imagine you walking and talking confidently. But I know it will come, as quickly as these changes have come. Farther and farther away from that cuddly little newborn and further and further in to the person you will be.
I love you.
Mom
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Power Struggles
Power struggles?
Rachel, are you having power struggles with Juliet already? Is her stubborn streak starting to show? You're not alone. Write about how Juliet is asserting her independence and the struggles that it causes. Write now.
How could I not write immediately?! Baby Weekly Journal is constantly imploring me to write now. It's kind of amusing. BUT if you could see all the posts that I haven't done (the ones that just have the question and not any answer yet) you would know that I am taking them seriously, if a little disorganized-ly.
This does remind me of something Juliet does when she gets frustrated. I've mostly seen this when she is in her high chair and she wants whatever we are eating (watermelon and raspberries seem to be her favorites) - she tenses her whole body up, clenches both fists and shakes them quickly. Auntie Lauren affectionately dubbed her Katie Ka-boom after the Animaniacs character that would get so mad she would explode (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Animaniacs_characters). Gulp. This doesn't bode well for our teen years, does it?
Rachel, are you having power struggles with Juliet already? Is her stubborn streak starting to show? You're not alone. Write about how Juliet is asserting her independence and the struggles that it causes. Write now.
How could I not write immediately?! Baby Weekly Journal is constantly imploring me to write now. It's kind of amusing. BUT if you could see all the posts that I haven't done (the ones that just have the question and not any answer yet) you would know that I am taking them seriously, if a little disorganized-ly.
This does remind me of something Juliet does when she gets frustrated. I've mostly seen this when she is in her high chair and she wants whatever we are eating (watermelon and raspberries seem to be her favorites) - she tenses her whole body up, clenches both fists and shakes them quickly. Auntie Lauren affectionately dubbed her Katie Ka-boom after the Animaniacs character that would get so mad she would explode (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Animaniacs_characters). Gulp. This doesn't bode well for our teen years, does it?
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
On sleep and teeth
Okay, perhaps a flaky move on my part, but suddenly I've gotten through that newborn-longing and am so happy to interact with KickyBaby and get to know her. I'm enjoying seeing how her mind works, putting together different actions. I love playing cause-and-effect games with her. Her favorite seems to be in her carseat - I purse my lips and when she points to them, I pop! I love her laughing - it is the sweetest.
I think my missing of the baby period was furthered by our recent sleep struggles. Suddenly, it got so hard. And then, it got easy(ish) again. Why, you ask? Well, Daddy and Baby picked me up from work on Friday and KB tried to eat my finger as she usually does and I felt something sharp! A small jagged ridge of tooth was visible in the bottom middle of her gum line. I believe I exclaimed to Matt mid-sentence (Matt's sentence, not mine), "A tooth! We have a tooth!" It makes so much more sense now. We're still putting her to bed protesting and bringing her in to our bed in the middle of the night, but I'm not nursing all night long anymore. Whew. I love my nursing relationship with my daughter, but that was getting trying.
The flakiness does emphasize one thing that I will try to keep remembering. Everything will pass. It is so easy for me to get thoroughly wrapped up in things - the way I feel at a particular time, a decision we are trying to make, wondering about parenting and how-will-this-screw-her-up-in-a-few-years-oh-no type dilemmas. And then, they are gone as fast as they've come and there is just the soft hint of a bump in the road, the slight memory of a rough time. Wow, it is amazing how different sleep problems look a few days later. When you are right in the middle of them, at the crib, rubbing the belly of a screaming baby and saying shhhh over and over and over, it becomes your life. You're ready to throw in the towel, turn in your parenting badge, call every mother you know in the world and beg for advice. And then, give it a few days or weeks, and it's all a distant memory. Funny how that works. And wonderful. And such a huge relief.
I think my missing of the baby period was furthered by our recent sleep struggles. Suddenly, it got so hard. And then, it got easy(ish) again. Why, you ask? Well, Daddy and Baby picked me up from work on Friday and KB tried to eat my finger as she usually does and I felt something sharp! A small jagged ridge of tooth was visible in the bottom middle of her gum line. I believe I exclaimed to Matt mid-sentence (Matt's sentence, not mine), "A tooth! We have a tooth!" It makes so much more sense now. We're still putting her to bed protesting and bringing her in to our bed in the middle of the night, but I'm not nursing all night long anymore. Whew. I love my nursing relationship with my daughter, but that was getting trying.
The flakiness does emphasize one thing that I will try to keep remembering. Everything will pass. It is so easy for me to get thoroughly wrapped up in things - the way I feel at a particular time, a decision we are trying to make, wondering about parenting and how-will-this-screw-her-up-in-a-few-years-oh-no type dilemmas. And then, they are gone as fast as they've come and there is just the soft hint of a bump in the road, the slight memory of a rough time. Wow, it is amazing how different sleep problems look a few days later. When you are right in the middle of them, at the crib, rubbing the belly of a screaming baby and saying shhhh over and over and over, it becomes your life. You're ready to throw in the towel, turn in your parenting badge, call every mother you know in the world and beg for advice. And then, give it a few days or weeks, and it's all a distant memory. Funny how that works. And wonderful. And such a huge relief.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
P.S. I DO miss the newborn period. Is that allowed?
Per BabyWeekly Journal: Rachel, as you watch Juliet grow, learn, and become a little person, do you ever long for your cuddly little baby again? Many women start missing their little newborn baby when he or she reaches toddler-hood. Do you have any longings for your baby of days past? Write now.
Man, this couldn't have come at a more apt time. This came in on 6/29 and it was probably at the peak of my missing of the cuddly little baby I used to have. It felt weird to feel that disconnect - to love this new person who is emerging, but to also kind of miss the smallness of newborn KickyBaby and the cuddling. I was destined to love the newborn phase - I love little things (ie, baby animals) and cuddling and that's about all the give-back you get from a newborn. Now I'm trying to figure out negotiating life with a person who has their own preferences and intentions, and who can go where she wants (to a point). And when I hold her, she wants to squirm to face forward or get down. Except for the sleepy cuddle. We've still got those. So maybe I shouldn't be SO unhappy to be kept up at night nursing. You are still my little cuddly baby in there somewhere. Welcome to exploring the world!
Man, this couldn't have come at a more apt time. This came in on 6/29 and it was probably at the peak of my missing of the cuddly little baby I used to have. It felt weird to feel that disconnect - to love this new person who is emerging, but to also kind of miss the smallness of newborn KickyBaby and the cuddling. I was destined to love the newborn phase - I love little things (ie, baby animals) and cuddling and that's about all the give-back you get from a newborn. Now I'm trying to figure out negotiating life with a person who has their own preferences and intentions, and who can go where she wants (to a point). And when I hold her, she wants to squirm to face forward or get down. Except for the sleepy cuddle. We've still got those. So maybe I shouldn't be SO unhappy to be kept up at night nursing. You are still my little cuddly baby in there somewhere. Welcome to exploring the world!
Letters to Mrs. Baby, 9 months
Hello Mrs. Baby!
If I wrote this when you *actually* turned 9 months, I wouldn't be able to mention your forward-crawling and your pulling to standing! Yes, it happened that fast! Before you were rolling and scooting backwards but now, wow, you are a fast forward crawler. The other night we set you on the carpet and mom and dad were both in the bathroom and, here you came, crawling furiously toward the bathroom. It was kind of adorable.
Though it makes Daddy's job much, much harder.
I just introduced you to the song "If you're happy and you know it." You love mimicking clapping and you just seemed delighted. I'm amazed at what goes on in your mind. You definitely understand cause-and-effect; I have fun making a fishy face at you in the car and waiting until you point to my lips to "pop!" I cherish our little games.
On the food and sleep fronts, we have a win and a lose. We've been giving you smaller food and you've been doing really well. With some small slippery food (kiwi, mainly), you've been pulling it to the edge of your tray and trying to slurp it up off of it from there. You are certainly industrious, but we should have known that when you ate your puffs off of the back of your hand (or anywhere else they would stick!).
Sleeping is so very hard and kind of horrible. We seem to have 2 options at night. Nurse you indefinitely or let you cry to sleep. Neither option works very well, honestly. We've been letting you cry at first and then bringing you in to bed when you wake up overnight, but it is so, so, SO hard for me to hear you cry and let you cry. I really don't like it and am desperately trying to find a better way.
You had your first full-body pool experience at my parents' house and you loved it. You kicked your legs and waved your arms and seemed like a natural. Then you drifted off to a peaceful sleep laying on a towel on the grass. That is the life! Just like your mama. gMom says I was the same way as a baby.
We had your first appointment with the new pediatrician and we really like her. You had a couple shots but Daddy sent me out of the room. I guess it is pretty sad to see you hurting. I loved holding you afterward in hopes that I could help you feel better. I seem to have a calming effect on you. Those are the times I feel most like your mom.
I love you KickyBaby. It is going so fast though.... where is the Pause button?
Except for the sleeping thing - let's fast-forward to good sleep soon. =)
All my best,
Mommy
If I wrote this when you *actually* turned 9 months, I wouldn't be able to mention your forward-crawling and your pulling to standing! Yes, it happened that fast! Before you were rolling and scooting backwards but now, wow, you are a fast forward crawler. The other night we set you on the carpet and mom and dad were both in the bathroom and, here you came, crawling furiously toward the bathroom. It was kind of adorable.
Though it makes Daddy's job much, much harder.
I just introduced you to the song "If you're happy and you know it." You love mimicking clapping and you just seemed delighted. I'm amazed at what goes on in your mind. You definitely understand cause-and-effect; I have fun making a fishy face at you in the car and waiting until you point to my lips to "pop!" I cherish our little games.
On the food and sleep fronts, we have a win and a lose. We've been giving you smaller food and you've been doing really well. With some small slippery food (kiwi, mainly), you've been pulling it to the edge of your tray and trying to slurp it up off of it from there. You are certainly industrious, but we should have known that when you ate your puffs off of the back of your hand (or anywhere else they would stick!).
Sleeping is so very hard and kind of horrible. We seem to have 2 options at night. Nurse you indefinitely or let you cry to sleep. Neither option works very well, honestly. We've been letting you cry at first and then bringing you in to bed when you wake up overnight, but it is so, so, SO hard for me to hear you cry and let you cry. I really don't like it and am desperately trying to find a better way.
You had your first full-body pool experience at my parents' house and you loved it. You kicked your legs and waved your arms and seemed like a natural. Then you drifted off to a peaceful sleep laying on a towel on the grass. That is the life! Just like your mama. gMom says I was the same way as a baby.
We had your first appointment with the new pediatrician and we really like her. You had a couple shots but Daddy sent me out of the room. I guess it is pretty sad to see you hurting. I loved holding you afterward in hopes that I could help you feel better. I seem to have a calming effect on you. Those are the times I feel most like your mom.
I love you KickyBaby. It is going so fast though.... where is the Pause button?
Except for the sleeping thing - let's fast-forward to good sleep soon. =)
All my best,
Mommy
Friday, June 10, 2011
8 months and going strong - a letter to Mrs. Baby
Dear Mrs. Baby,
You have become very interactive this month and are showing the first signs of becoming mobile! In an effort not to forget things, I've been sending 1-line memories from my phone to my email. So many things you do give me so much delight and I am sure I will never, ever forget the joy in that moment. Then give it a couple days or weeks and we're off to the next phase and that memory is forgotten. My darling, I have always cried over spilled milk even though I know how useless that can be. But you are always changing and there seems to be a new thing every day. So, I will try to capture those small moments in a way that is not melancholy, but celebratory. Because there is more to come and I have the privilege of being along for the ride.
This month you clapped for me. On May 28th, I was doing the dishes and you were playing in the living room. I would look over from time to time to check on you and engage you and one time I looked over and you clapped! And you did it again and again. I felt like quite the celebrity, being applauded for chores. =) I had just started showing you clapping a few weeks before and it surprised me that you seemed to pick it up AND direct your practice to me.
Right around the 8 month mark, I spent an entire afternoon switching your clothes over to the 3-6 size! I know you're still on the small side, but no more 0-3. And they fit you really well - we probably should have done it earlier.
You hand is the length of my pinky from the base to the top joint. I wonder how big your hand was when you were born. Time has passed so fast.
The past few days, you've been giving me the biggest smiles! Your Grammy said that your Daddy used to give those type of smiles(the mouth stretched long and thin as can be, the eyes closed to wee little slits) and calls them "line smiles." I tried one today - they kind of hurt the face, actually. You must have good facial muscles.
And you move - mostly rolling and crawling backward - but look away from you for a couple minutes and you will have moved several feet!?!
Our biggest challenges are sleeping and eating. Bed-sharing with you saved my sanity in the newborn period and helped our nursing relationship and I am glad we did it. But as you get a little bigger, the challenge is how to transition you to your own bed so I can spend some time reconnecting with Daddy and have some solo time.
And we had been doing baby-led weaning with you, giving you the same foods we were eating, and it worked really well when we first started. We would give you large pieces of food and you would hold one end and gnaw on the other. Now, though, you shove the entire piece in your mouth. It's scarey for me and I realize that, with your new dexterity, we have to rethink our strategy. Maybe you should graduate down to smaller pieces. You seem to really love mealtimes and are really adventurous in your eating (2 of the proposed "perks" of BLW) but it can be stressful!
I've been trying to teach you sign language so you can communicate with us more easily. Sometimes you get really frustrated and tense your fists and whole body up. I'd love to spare us that disconnect, but I'm not very diligent at teaching you.
Oh, I almost forgot that you had your first day at the pool too! You were SO happy. Even though the water was very cold, you seemed to like putting your toes in. And then you spent a very long time sitting on a towel on the grass, playing with toys and watching the kids trying to make you smile from the pool. It worked better then I thought it would and you seemed really happy. I shouldn't have been surprised - you seem to like crowds. Our little social butterfly.
So you are making leaps and bounds to independence and it's hard to remember the helpless newborn time. And then, try to think about this time next year and it feels impossible! What will be next?
Love,
Mom
You have become very interactive this month and are showing the first signs of becoming mobile! In an effort not to forget things, I've been sending 1-line memories from my phone to my email. So many things you do give me so much delight and I am sure I will never, ever forget the joy in that moment. Then give it a couple days or weeks and we're off to the next phase and that memory is forgotten. My darling, I have always cried over spilled milk even though I know how useless that can be. But you are always changing and there seems to be a new thing every day. So, I will try to capture those small moments in a way that is not melancholy, but celebratory. Because there is more to come and I have the privilege of being along for the ride.
This month you clapped for me. On May 28th, I was doing the dishes and you were playing in the living room. I would look over from time to time to check on you and engage you and one time I looked over and you clapped! And you did it again and again. I felt like quite the celebrity, being applauded for chores. =) I had just started showing you clapping a few weeks before and it surprised me that you seemed to pick it up AND direct your practice to me.
Right around the 8 month mark, I spent an entire afternoon switching your clothes over to the 3-6 size! I know you're still on the small side, but no more 0-3. And they fit you really well - we probably should have done it earlier.
You hand is the length of my pinky from the base to the top joint. I wonder how big your hand was when you were born. Time has passed so fast.
The past few days, you've been giving me the biggest smiles! Your Grammy said that your Daddy used to give those type of smiles(the mouth stretched long and thin as can be, the eyes closed to wee little slits) and calls them "line smiles." I tried one today - they kind of hurt the face, actually. You must have good facial muscles.
And you move - mostly rolling and crawling backward - but look away from you for a couple minutes and you will have moved several feet!?!
Our biggest challenges are sleeping and eating. Bed-sharing with you saved my sanity in the newborn period and helped our nursing relationship and I am glad we did it. But as you get a little bigger, the challenge is how to transition you to your own bed so I can spend some time reconnecting with Daddy and have some solo time.
And we had been doing baby-led weaning with you, giving you the same foods we were eating, and it worked really well when we first started. We would give you large pieces of food and you would hold one end and gnaw on the other. Now, though, you shove the entire piece in your mouth. It's scarey for me and I realize that, with your new dexterity, we have to rethink our strategy. Maybe you should graduate down to smaller pieces. You seem to really love mealtimes and are really adventurous in your eating (2 of the proposed "perks" of BLW) but it can be stressful!
I've been trying to teach you sign language so you can communicate with us more easily. Sometimes you get really frustrated and tense your fists and whole body up. I'd love to spare us that disconnect, but I'm not very diligent at teaching you.
Oh, I almost forgot that you had your first day at the pool too! You were SO happy. Even though the water was very cold, you seemed to like putting your toes in. And then you spent a very long time sitting on a towel on the grass, playing with toys and watching the kids trying to make you smile from the pool. It worked better then I thought it would and you seemed really happy. I shouldn't have been surprised - you seem to like crowds. Our little social butterfly.
So you are making leaps and bounds to independence and it's hard to remember the helpless newborn time. And then, try to think about this time next year and it feels impossible! What will be next?
Love,
Mom
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
My favorite memory from Mother's Day
My favorite memory on mother's day was not the card (though adorable) or the dinner with gMom and Grandpa (though.... interesting.... I guess I don't like German food, but the atmosphere was fun) but the feeling I got when I woke up early on the morning of Mother's Day. I looked at KickyBaby's lovely face and felt something in my heart affirm, "you are a mom" and the warmest, tenderest feeling came over me. I wanted to capture that feeling forever - to stay snuggled there in bed with my daughter. Nothing that anyone did or said could match the gift of actually being a mom on that day. (The recognition was just a perk!) As I realize the sweetness of motherhood, I am amazed over and over again that I was someone else's baby in the way that my daughter is my baby. So Happy Mother's Day gMom! How sweet it is.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)