Washington D.C.
trip to the spy museum AND
the Freer Gallery




For Rachel's birthday we took a trip to
Washington. We stayed at the Helix hotel
which has a Pop-art type of theme. The highlight of the trip was the Freer gallery's
"Kiyochika, Master of the night" show.
It featured wood block prints of Tokoyo at the end of the 19th century. We also visited the museum of American art and the natural history
museum. The spy museum was interesting
if not overpriced (it cost us $47 for admission)
I don't think it was worth the money.

Pennypack Farm
at the Highlands

These pictures were taken on our most recent visit to the farm where we get our vegetables. It has been a really great family experience and the kids love it! The Highlands is an old mansion and formal garden. Apparently they host a 19th century fox hunt in the fall.

Welcome Photographer Daddy!

I'm inviting a new blogger to this page.  Matt has always been the photographer of our family so, to round our this record of our kids and family, he'll be hopefully posting some pictures around the way.  We have some great ones from a farm share we joined this year called Pennypack and some goofy ones from a recent trip to D.C.  Welcome Matt!

You say a Nonah, I say a Jonah.

Happy Birthday Jonah!  Well, sort of.

It has been a long time since I wrote.  2 kids + full-time work = not enough time to do much of anything else. But this was a special occasion that I want to remember.  Today we demoed a new birthday idea for Jonah. The last day in July we had a special "Christmas in July" party celebrating Jonah's Christmas birthday.  I planned a few winter-inspired activities, Matt and I made a huge batch of "snow" white playdough, and we listened to Christmas music.  But the absolute best part of the party was seeing Jonah's face when we sang Happy Birthday to him.  It was the face of a child with his love meter full, with pride and joy at all eyes on him, loving on him.  It makes me wonder how often we actually stop and focus all our attention on Jonah, as the second-born.  With life so busy, how often do we pause, give him our undivided attention and say, "you are special."  And he came alive; He looked around, he grinned so big he beamed.   It was worth it.  All the planning, all the orchestrating, to make that moment for Jonah.  I hope he will always know somewhere in his core being, even if he doesn't actively recall it, that he was special to us all as himself.  I hope we can give him that feeling over and over and it will sink in.  Isn't that what all parents want?

What Jonah is in to now:

He likes singing "a, b, c, d" but he never gets past "d."  He notices that this song is related to letters and will start singing that when he sees letters, such as the sign for CVS.

He has always had really remarkable "ka" sounds.  So where Juliet's "milk" was always "mit" as a toddler, Jonah's is a highly-emphasized "mil-K."  The same goes for "boo-K."

Jonah says mama and dada, which is super sweet.

He understands things you say to him.  If you say "bath," he will repeat "bath" and go running in to the bathroom.  If you ask, "diaper?" he will point at his or go with you to get one.  I love when I place one on the floor and he tries to figure out how to lay down on it.  He always ends up with his head facing me!  The first time he did that I was completely impressed; I didn't realize how much he was picking up about "how we do things."  It makes me laugh that we used to be so heavily dependent on a changing table for Juliet and now I can't imagine going to a changing table each time.  We don't use it at all.  But it's a different house we're in.

Jonah loves these applesauce pouches that we call AppleBerries.  Matt usually gets them for Jonah from Wawa and so now, when Jonah sees a Wawa, even driving by, he declares "Ap-pull!"  or "Ap-pull-B!"

My other special memory of Jonah is when I get home from work.  He comes toddling over to me right away and I crouch down and he gives me the sweetest little hug.  I can't explain the joy at his little arms and hands reaching out for me, wrapping around my arm.  It is lovely.

You know how little we emphasize using utensils with our kids, but Jonah had other plans.  One day, as Matt was making food, Jonah realized that a fork was within his grasp.  He reached out and took it and proceeded to use it on his dinner!  We never showed him that overtly.  But he is always our observer, watching and taking in even the minute details.  He loves the detail, and will tend to focus on the screws on toys.  He also loves seeing what buttons do; it's like you can watch his brain working in real time to make a complete picture of "how this works."

He also likes cleaning.  Yes, you spray his high chair and give him a paper towel, and he will rub and rub.  He does the same thing on the floor.  He'll be sad if you take away the cleaner (vinegar) or towel.

He calls himself "No-nah;" he can't quite get the "J" for Jonah.  So, as seems to be our custom, our kids are choosing their own nicknames, and Jonah gets called "Nonah" more and more.  I secretly love it because it reminds me of Nola, a girl's name that I decided I loved for it's similarity to Magnolia.  Thanks Jonah!  =)

News from the 3+ Crowd

Matt and I been planning separate times for Juliet and for Jonah, either one-on-one with each parent or one at a grandparents' house and one with Matt and I.  We took Juliet to a carnival and she was fearless!  It was incredible.  She was probably less scared of the rides then Matt and I; she even pointed at the Gravitron up in the air and wanted to go on it!  (We didn't.)  Her favorite ride by far was a spaceship where one of the spaceships started low, went up high, and then went up and down.  Super cute.

Out of the Often-Noisy Planet

Juliet is coming out of an obsession with planets.  It started out innocently enough, with a why question, "Mommy, what's below the snow?"  And it went Snow>Grass>Dirt>Rock (I needed Matt's input on that)> Magma> Rock>Dirt>Grass (maybe)>Snow>Sky>Space.  And then, "what is space?!" And the rest is history.  There was actually a moment where I realized that Juliet had, quite naturally, come to the conclusion that those space-going vehicles, rockets, had to actually take off through the center of the earth and out the other side.  Opps!  Not long after her interest developed, people started being assigned planets.  I'm Mercury (I was briefly Neptune at first) and Matt is Saturn.  At first Jonah was Mars and Juliet referred to him as "rocky red planet" or "rocky red" for short.  At that time Juliet was Venus and she was pleased to tell people they were rocky planets with volcanoes.  (Wait, is that true?)  Then she developed a fascination with Uranus and Juliet and Jonah both became Uranus.  That's where we are now.  AUNT LAUREN WAS ORIGINALLY PLUTO.  She was not happy about that since Pluto is a wanna-be planet.  But now it is here in print.  She and Juliet had a discussion about that and agreed to make her Venus which is her current status.  So, in short:

The Sun - Abigail

Mercury - Mommy

Venus - Aunt Lauren

Earth - Feisser

Mars - ?  No one?

Jupiter - Akira

Saturn - Matt

Uranus - Aunt Beth (who was also not very happy about that... do you like to tease your aunts, Juliet?), Juliet, Jonah

Neptune - Ben

Juliet has a puzzle that combines her love of planets and her love of puzzles.  One time Aunt Lauren was visiting and she spent some time working with Juliet on her 100-piece planet puzzle from Aunt Beth.  As they got close to completion, Juliet named the planets, reversing Uranus and Neptune (saying them in the right order, but pointing at the other planet because she is convinced that Uranus should be the blue one and they are close together so the order isn't obvious).  Lauren corrected her.  Juliet disagreed and corrected her.  Lauren disagreed.  This went on a few times and neither party was backing down.  So Juliet looked squarely at Lauren and matter-of-factly said, "you can go play downstairs now," essentially banning her for her disagreement.  Laur and I had a laugh about that and the banishment was not enforced.  But it is a little slice of the sass and cleverness that Juliet pulls out from time to time.

What Juliet is in to now:

Her favorite color is now red.  She knows mine is turquoise and asks me if I like every turquoise thing we come across.

She wants to get in on group hugs.  Matt and I will be hugging and suddenly I'll feel little hands on my leg and Etsy is just easing her way in to the middle of the hug.  I remember group hugs from my childhood and it makes me happy.

She is currently often saying "dop" (think "top") or "doppa."  Sometimes Jonah says it too.

She has a toy laptop that seems to be teaching her British pronunciations and the joy of silly sentences.  She likes saying "Bad [noun]" and making a game of it where we go back and forth thinking of the silliest things we can.  I don't know what the staying power of that game will be.
She tried some gymnastics classes and loved them.  She was engaged, listened well, and was fearless, which is not surprising.  I felt she needed an outlet for her desire to climb and hang on everything.  I think we will be signing her up for it shortly.

She also has a very sweet, helpful side.  She often refers to me as "good mudder!" even when I don't think I've done anything particularly remarkable.  She also sometimes calls me "my little mudder" which I think is a nod to when I call her "my little one."  The other day I was getting my breakfast nutribullet (green shake) ready and I told her I wanted to put cherries in it, but I would have to cut them off the pit and that took too much time.  While I was washing and cutting the remaining fruit and vegetables, she went to the fridge, got out a cherry and bit it in half for me, removing the pit.  She presented me with the manually-pitted cherry "for your nutribullet."  It was incredibly sweet.  She is often very conscientious of my needs.  I hope this is something okay and not something strange I've cultivated either by seeming fragile/needy or over-praising it. Motherhood is an ever-tenuous position, isn't it?  Is what you are doing right?  Wrong?  Are you helping your kids?  Setting them up for success, for confidence, for loving themselves?  I do the best I can, I learn from others (thank you for psychology and creative moms), I try to think about the long-range lessons from my short range goals, and love them, and pray, and work on myself.  This has been a whole new season for Matt and I, and, in turn, I hope a whole new season for my kids and our family.

On to the next chapter, for our marriage, for our family, for our future, the one we have entitled "Hope."

I'm still your mommy

It has been 4 days since little brother was born. The house is in upheaval, everything different then before, kind of chaotic.

Last night was the first night I put Juliet to bed since we became a family of 4.  She put her face right in front of mine, nearly touching noses, and feel asleep while I sang to her.  This is strange from a child who usually cries to sleep, no matter what you do to get her to sleepiness.

Tonight we started getting ready for bed.  First we read books.  I'm always amazed what Juliet remembers.  When I picked up Counting Kisses, she said, "my tired little baby, do you need a kiss?" (The first line of the book.)  When we got to prayer, we heard Baby Brother crying and Juliet said she wanted more coconut milk.  So we decided to get Juliet milk and give brother milk and then go back to bed.  While I nursed Jonah, Juliet climbed all over Daddy on the floor.  It was adorable and she seemed so happy.  I don't think I've seen them do that before.  And then I handed a sleeping Jonah off to Daddy and Juliet and I went back to her bed.  We prayed, thanking God for all the different animals he made that Juliet loves (sharks, whales, dolphins, bald eagles), and then we sang our songs.

When they were done, Juliet said, "I can't go to sleep."  This is fairly typical; going to sleep is generally hard for her.  I talked to her about things that make it hard for me to go to sleep - not wanting the day to be over, or having problems settling my mind and body.  She just repeated that she couldn't sleep.  She came to the end of the bed where I was sitting and laid on my lap, facing away, and I rocked her back and forth.  I imagined a boat rocking in the current.  And I thought about being her mom over the past two years.  I remembered laying in my bed with her, playing with our hands in the air, making them float down like leaves. About how we don't do that anymore and how I don't want to forget that, or forget any of it.  I realized I would never again be Just Her Mommy and it made me profoundly sad.  (I am postpartum, after all.)  And then she got up and went and sat in front of her pillow.  She asked for kisses (we do one for each cheek, one for each hand to hold for later, and one for the forehead for good dreams/thoughts).  I don't think she realized I was sad.  I'm pretty sure I was crying, but it was dark.  And after the kisses, she sweetly and matter-of-factly said, "Night Night Mommy," and that was that.  I said Night Night back and I left without her yelling, without tears.  Softly, sweetly. 

Suddenly, she seemed so grown up. 

And I loved her, then and now.

An Update from Juliet

Today is Christmas Eve.  Mommy is big with baby and Juliet is getting ready to be a big sister.  This blog is [ahem, was intended to be] written with Juliet to capture her favorites and her thoughts.

Mommy: What are your favorite books?
Juliet: This.
M: That's a guide on how to play Daddy's game.
J: A fish.  I found a fish.
M: Yes, that is a game about fish.  And you love fish.
J: I can't open it Mommy.  This is a move.... (I think she's going for movie and thinking about it.)
M: That's a game.
J: This is not a game.  Let's find a new movie.  Do you know where Babies is, Mommy?
M: Yes!  I put it back on the shelf.  Do you want to watch it?  Go get it.
J: I have the Babies right here!  Do you want to watch Babies?
M: Okay.  I think that might be fun.
Here, the Babies DVD kisses me.

And so we're watching the movie Babies now.  I remember the first time I watched it with Juliet and she was entranced.  That was probably when she was closer to a year old.  We watched it in a bunch of pieces.  Now I found it on Amazon for $6 and bought it.  For some reason I don't have those pangs of guilt when she watches it.  We talk about what is going on and about the Babies.  It nearly feels educational.

A few of Juliet's favorites:
Favorite Toys: These small (probably 5 inches tall), round fuzzy things.  Made by TY, the previous makers of Beanie Babies.  Juliet started with Picky (a pink one) bought by Daddy at Rite-Aid because Juliet loved it.  Mommy thought he was being a sucker, but Juliet has really loved that toy.  She is always asking, "Where's Pinky?"  It's not exactly a security thing because we don't have to find it.  But we often talk about where it is.  Then we added Pengy, one that looks like a penguin.  And Grammy (Matt's mom) and Aunt Beth picked up a caterpillar-type of colorful striped one.  It's tag said Gumdrop and Juliet started calling it "Icedrop" and it stuck.  I think they got her another one for Christmas!  (Don't tell her.)

Favorite Books: Owl Babies (Little Owl Baby Bill always says, "I want my mommy!"  One time Daddy said that Juliet was looking at the book while I was at working and saying, "I want my Rachel!"); Moonhorse (I love the language in that book.  Juliet somehow knows the name of the Illustrator of that book too.  I'm not sure why.); Inside Mouse Outside Mouse

I asked Juliet if she has a favorite color.  She said, " I have a favorite..... I wonder, where the cows?"

Juliet loves animals.  She loved this book Daddy has called Big Fish and she recognizes a lot of the fish in there, especially the sharks and yellowfin tuna.  She used to always look for the section page titled, "Not Dangerous But Big."  I dont know if I wrote that before.

J: I see cows!

Maybe because of Daddy's field guide collection, Juliet knows all about the types of underwater creatures and birds.  Gmom and Grandpa reported that they were looking at a book with Juliet with a bird in it and she declared, "blue egret!"  She is definitely her Daddy's daughter.  That certainly didn't come from me.

I've just started talking to her about the sounds that letters make.  She seems pretty amazed.  We'll be looking through a book and she'll say, "Do that word," and point at a word and we sound it out.  I'm a little rusty on the vowels, I have to admit.

Right now at bed we read 2 books, say a prayer (Juliet requests we pray for good dreams, and last night we prayed for good dreams for Pengy) and then sing songs.  I started opening my repertoire out a bit.  We used to sing Deer (As the Deer Panteth for the Water which, coincidentally, is the song that my water broke during for Juliet) and then a few pirate songs Daddy introduced us to (referred to as Ship and Bowl).   Now Juliet requests the same songs in the same order: Deer, Starry Night, Crossroads, and Sweet Baby James.  I remember my Dad singing Sweet Baby James to us when we were little and I'm happy to carry on the tradition.

Juliet is still a pretty good eater.  She seems to like her vegetables.

She is very empathetic.  When I start getting overwhelmed (being pregnant with a toddler is not easy!) she says, "Don't cry Mommy!"

J: Do you know where Pinky is?
M: I think he's in bed.

We talk about what Baby Brother or Little Brother will do and be like.  When I read Juliet books, she points to my other knee and says, "LittleBrother goes there."  Gmom told her that LittleBrother will probably grab her finger and she likes talking about that recently and pantomiming holding and rocking him.

Gmom asked Juliet what little brother's name is and she said, "That's a very good question."  (We keep that secret until birth.)

I think I've got to go.  The katamari game is jumping on the keyboard and Juliet is telling it, "No, don't do that Katamari."  I guess this is as good a record as any.  This is about how it is here.

I wait for new brother with nervousness.  This has been a pretty easy pregnancy physically.  A little sciatica when laying down was my biggest physical complaint.  Until 37 weeks, I would tell people I didn't remember I was pregnant until I caught a glimpse of my reflection.  And then that changed at 37 weeks and I feel very achy by the time I get to bed.  And, starting this weekend, I'm completely frantic with my to-do list.  I believe this is called nesting, which makes it seem quaint, but it feels like torture.  And then combine that with Christmas to-dos and it has been really challenging.  Mentally, this has been a very hard pregnancy for me.  I can't imagine a newborn and a toddler together.

A story.  A few months ago, at dinner at my parents' house, Juliet got down from the table.  We asked her if she was going to come eat. She said, "I'm too busy."  She started playing with her toys and declared, "I'm exhausted."  We laughed.  My mom pointed out, "That's a toddler with a pregnant mommy - busy and exhausted!"

So, with that laugh, Merry Christmas!  I have to keep reminding myself not to stress over the tree not up, the things undone.  It's hard.  And through this all, I hope I've been a good mom to Juliet and will be able to navigate motherhood of 2 when it comes.  This journey of motherhood is always changing.

"That was fun!" And, with that, Juliet is 2.

Dear Juliet,

It is September 29th, 2012, around 8:30PM.  It has been one lovely yet exhausting weekend.  We have been celebrating your birth - the day, two years ago, that you came in to this world officially.  As seems to be the custom, your birthday (yesterday) was rainy.  It reminded me of the rainy day out of the hospital window on your birth and our trip to Elwood Park Zoo in the rain on your 1st birthday.  Somehow the rain connects each year.  I think back on them and remember how that singular thing, the weather, made such an impression on my mind.

This year on your birthday, Mommy worked a half day, the rain pouring down as we drove to work.  You have started saying "mommy no work" when we take that morning drive.  It seems so sweet, and yet, so sad.  It might not be the case, but before you articulated it, I was able to believe that you didn't put that morning drive together with me leaving.  And now, I know you know.  We have some great times on the way there, though.  Sometimes if I am being silly or if I am guessing at something you are saying that I don't understand, you'll say your new favorite phrase, "mommy joking" or "joking mommy."  This is a riot.  You say it in such a tone that sounds like you are smiling knowingly and shaking your head.  You also have a set of funny words you like to say.  I made a note to add it to my last post, but I didn't, so I'll mention it here.  For some reason, you made up "ah boo boo" and it seems to be, to you, the funniest word in the human language.  We'll repeat it back and forth with different variations (high, low, quiet, soft, scary) and you seem to love it.  Also on that list is "noodles" and "oops" or "oopsie."  On other trips, you'll request to put on my chapstick (and remind yourself  "don't lick it" or "don't eat it" as I get it out).  On others, you'll ask for my notebook and we'll draw things.  Your favorites are big/little ovals, crescent moons, full moons, big/little daddies, stars, clouds, big/little circles, sharks, hammerhead sharks, and dolphins.  I'm really bad at drawing the last three.  And we always look to see if a particular dog is outside on our way to work.  Daddy and I started that tradition when you were little and now you have realized it and add your own input.  I'll say, "is the dog out?" and you'll say "no dog" or remind me to check the "porch."  Maybe our family is crazy?  =)  I really enjoy sitting with you in the car.  I think it is because we have each others' undivided attention.  It is hard to talk sometimes when you are always moving.  Other times while driving, you request my ipod to listen to "Baby Luga" (Baby Beluga by Raffi), "Punch/Bunch" (Day-O by Raffi) or "night-night music" (Bless My Girl CD).  You have definite preferences for music on the radio too.  Some times you like it and dance around, tapping your feet.  Other times you express your displeasure with a simple request "next please Daddy."  (You don't always get that wish granted, though.)  You have started putting your left foot on the seat belt and then scolding it with "get down."  When it gets down, I pet it and thank it for listening.  What a funny game!

After you picked me up and we got something to eat (you strongly preferred my vegetables to the mac&cheese or meat, which makes me proud), we went to the Elmwood Park Zoo.  This year we are members, but we've never done the pony rides.  So we came with cash and managed to get you a pony ride right before they closed up for the day.  At first you seemed a little nervous, but you got the hang of it.  When they got you off you said, "more!" and when we showed you the picture we took of you on the pony, you said "that was fun."  It was a good day.  Several times, you started running/skipping along full speed ahead.  It seemed like the pleasure was bursting out of you!  Later that night, we met my family at Ikea for dinner.  With the furniture out all over the place, you got a chance to play and explore.  When we got home, we skyped with Aunt LaLa (It is pretty amazing you can call her that - she hated that nickname as a kid) and you went to bed at a really late bed time.

I couldn't believe the overwhelming feeling of joy I had that day.  When I woke up, I felt like my heart would burst with love for you and with gratitude that God had given you to our family.  I'm nearly 6 months pregnant now, and I am often worried about being well-equipped to deal with another child when I feel like I can hardly deal with one child and manage the things that need to be done around the house.  Especially since I've been pregnant, I've had these major feelings of inadequacy.  But I knew in my heart that day, little one (my nickname for you - will it seem totally crazy when there is a newborn in the house?!), that children are a blessing.  For all the hard times, it is truly amazing to have you with us, to see you grow and learn and develop.  It has gone so fast and I hope I never forget this.  The good and the bad - the wonderful memories but also that there are a lot of challenges along the way too.  When you are right in the middle of them, boy they seem so hard.  You feel like you were never meant to be a mother.  How can you measure up?  And then you cover my face in kisses late at night, and we share sweet times where our interactions are fitting together perfectly, or you notice that I'm feeling sad and you say "no crying, mommy."  And maybe I am not so bad after all.  (But I hope you don't only remember my crying!  I'm pregnant and trying to nest with a toddler!)

We went for our first camping trip a few weeks ago.  You really seemed to love it.  You relished being outside, gathering up rocks, and running around with Akira, our dog.  It seemed to enliven you.  You slept the whole night, but rolled all over the tent (probably because we didn't bring the air mattress).  The next day, however, I wasn't feeling good.  And, by the time we got home, it was clear I had a stomach bug.  I spent that day on the couch or in bed, not being very much fun.  Before bed, I got you a little snack and sat with you at the table.  You were eating and asked me earnestly, "Mommy happy?"  It was such a sweet question.  I had spent the day so exhausted, but I hadn't realized you had noticed.  I told you I was happy to spend time with you.  I was touched that you cared about my state of mind - somehow you've developed empathy.  What an intriguing thing!

Today we had your party, a yellow-themed picnic at a local park with a playground.  It went really well.  The playground was a hit.  You had a lot of family to play with and a few kids around your age that you've come to know, including your cousin Ben of course (whom you've started calling "Benny" instead of "B").  I was worried it was too cold, or that I wasn't prepared enough, etc.  But as the last guests left, you said sadly "leaving?!" and waved bye-bye emphatically.  And then, on the car ride home, you said, rather triumphantly, "that was fun."  Mission accomplished, little one.  A celebration of Juliet.  =)

When we got home, we all crashed.  It didn't seem like we even did that much work, but it felt like a long day.  It was a great time - I enjoyed it too.  So we ordered a pizza (I didn't think I could eat any more fruit or veg, and that's saying something coming from me!) and we all watched Ponyo together.  We usually eat at the table, formally, and we definitely don't watch tv during dinner, so it was a fun little treat.  And it was cute to see you and Daddy propped up on pillows sitting on the floor, taking bites and watching.  Suddenly you seemed so big, but that must be an illusion of the number changing, surely?  You couldn't have gone from a child to big girl in one weekend?  All my perception?

Before I close, I wanted to mention a few other things.  You are definitely your fathers' daughter, because you love field guides and informative books like that.  Your favorite is a book about Big Fish.  The highlights include the Blue Shark (the painting of which makes you laugh for some reason!), the Mako Shark (also slightly amusing, apparently) the Hammerhead Shark, the man that wrote Jaws that you think is Mommy (I guess I see the resemblance, but it is odd to be compared to a man!), the Yellowfin Tuna (which you articulate very carefully), a section entitled "Not Dangerous But Big" that you request and are delighted to come across, and the Giant Mekong Catfish which you discuss with mommy about how I think it looks upside-down (much to Daddy's chagrin).  You also like the books "Owl Babies" and "Moonhorse."

We got a twin bed for you about a week ago.  I had this feeling you would take to it, but I anticipated a struggle.  It makes me sad, but ever since you stopped nursing to sleep, you haven't been an easy sleeper.  No amount of cuddling, singing, rocking, or whatnot, would get you to sleep.  Instead, as soon as you feel yourself getting tired, you pop up and fight it.  So a lot of times we have to do our bedtime routine and put you to bed.  Sometimes you talk to yourself or play, and sometimes you cry.  It breaks my heart, but it just doesn't seem to work any other way.  After you go to sleep, you've been sleeping through the night.  The rare times you do wake up in the middle of the night, we can cuddle you in bed with us and you go back to sleep.  (Though somehow you often push Daddy out of his spot in bed!)  Once you figured out how to climb out of your crib, though, bed times were a bit of mess.  You would get up as soon as we left the room, if not before.  There was not a lot of hope that a big girl bed would be much different.  But, surprisingly to me, you stay in it.  I am so proud of you, my big girl, to go in to the bedroom at night and see you cuddled in your bed.  I feel silly that I ever worried that cosleeping meant we might never get you in to your own bed.  It happened on its own, rather organically.  This is a reminder to future me not to worry so much about parenting choices and do what works for our family.  (Self: Please remember this and give yourself a break.)

One of my favorite routines with you is our walk to church on Sunday.  It really seems like I taught you how it should work and it makes for such a smooth and pleasant event.  First, we hold hands the whole way.  (Unless you get a little nervous around the train tracks (they ARE pretty big and loud) and ask to be picked up.  A lot of time this request is made by you walking into the front of my legs and raising your arms nervously.)  We stop at the roads and you wait while I look for cars.  You don't step in to the street until I say "no cars."  This is actually kind of amusing in other contexts.  Sometimes when we are out as a family and you are holding daddy's hand, you will stop abruptly at the curb and declare "no cars" before you go across.  Maybe it is silly, but I feel so proud of teaching you this safety thing. And I cherish these walks every week.  You usually collect a bunch of things along the way - many rocks, clovers or dandelion fluffs, maybe a fallen flower.  I love the chance to pay attention to all the small things I don't see anymore when I walk around as an adult.  It is a perfect chance to learn again the art of catching the small things.  Like the intent of this blog, catching your sayings and preferences, our successes and struggles.  At the time, it seems like we will remember them forever.  But then you change, you learn and grow.  And, as you do, new moments replace the old.  But the old ones are preserved here, my memories of you.

I love you, my two-year-old.