My First Post - for KickyBaby

I have been thinking about this blog for a while. I never considered my pregnancy document-able, but now I wish I had a way to relive it, to experience again the ups and downs. To laugh and nod understandingly over my blaze disregard of the whole pregnant experience and my sheer panic over my birth. Because, once I came out on the other end, I just love this whole thing. My last prenatal yoga class made me want to run around and hug everyone. I was never keen on the room full of pregnant moms and usually felt out of place. But suddenly I just loved all the women that take this journey, that become huge and unwieldy and then mothers. I want to learn about childbirth, breastfeeding, and mothering. I want to spend time with other mothers and children and, maybe, even, hold a baby or two! I don't even recognize myself, but I'm glad I'm here.

My KickyBaby is 4 and a half months now. She is a smiley baby, watching people and rewarding them with huge grins. She loves to be held and is generally good-natured. She likes to sit up and will lift her head up when you lay her down if she doesn't want to be there. Once she can pull herself up to sitting, there will be no stopping her; I anticipate that it will make diaper changes tricky! She has just discovered her feet- she's always grabbing them when she is laying down. She's also decided that tongue-sucking is a favorite hobby and everyone wonders if there is something in her mouth! I love when she laughs, but she does that sparingly. Or maybe we aren't funny....

I love being a mother. I knew I was at risk for postpartum depression because I had depression in my history. And I am surprised to feel a lot better then I used to. (In general. The cleanliness of the house makes me crazy. But it always has.) But generally, I feel really happy. It is surprising. Your whole life changes and, somehow, you don't mind it.

I've struggled with starting this blog because I felt like I needed to define it first. Slap me if I try. It will be as it is, no holds barred.