Okay, perhaps a flaky move on my part, but suddenly I've gotten through that newborn-longing and am so happy to interact with KickyBaby and get to know her. I'm enjoying seeing how her mind works, putting together different actions. I love playing cause-and-effect games with her. Her favorite seems to be in her carseat - I purse my lips and when she points to them, I pop! I love her laughing - it is the sweetest.
I think my missing of the baby period was furthered by our recent sleep struggles. Suddenly, it got so hard. And then, it got easy(ish) again. Why, you ask? Well, Daddy and Baby picked me up from work on Friday and KB tried to eat my finger as she usually does and I felt something sharp! A small jagged ridge of tooth was visible in the bottom middle of her gum line. I believe I exclaimed to Matt mid-sentence (Matt's sentence, not mine), "A tooth! We have a tooth!" It makes so much more sense now. We're still putting her to bed protesting and bringing her in to our bed in the middle of the night, but I'm not nursing all night long anymore. Whew. I love my nursing relationship with my daughter, but that was getting trying.
The flakiness does emphasize one thing that I will try to keep remembering. Everything will pass. It is so easy for me to get thoroughly wrapped up in things - the way I feel at a particular time, a decision we are trying to make, wondering about parenting and how-will-this-screw-her-up-in-a-few-years-oh-no type dilemmas. And then, they are gone as fast as they've come and there is just the soft hint of a bump in the road, the slight memory of a rough time. Wow, it is amazing how different sleep problems look a few days later. When you are right in the middle of them, at the crib, rubbing the belly of a screaming baby and saying shhhh over and over and over, it becomes your life. You're ready to throw in the towel, turn in your parenting badge, call every mother you know in the world and beg for advice. And then, give it a few days or weeks, and it's all a distant memory. Funny how that works. And wonderful. And such a huge relief.
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